Breaking the Mind Loop: New Beginnings
Q. I’ve been physically and verbally abused in the past. In reading your blog, I understand that I have survived it, but that only helps me to a certain point. How do I move forward and not let the past abuse affect me so much? I can’t stop thinking about it.
A. You’re trapped in a loop as the mind attempts to find blame, and sometimes it’s very difficult for the brain to accept reality as well. In your particular case, I believe your mind reviews the abuse over and over and over again. It seems you’re attempting to find resolution, hoping to wake up and find it was all a dream.
This is natural, and we do it to defend ourselves. If your past was painful enough that it still vibrates in your cells today, then you must learn to vibrate at a different frequency. This can sometimes take many years.
Because bad things happened to you in the past does not negate the reality that you can also experience beautiful things in the present, or the now. We must focus on as much beauty as possible, no matter how many times the shadows of our minds haunt us. It is because the shadows of the mind haunt us that we must practice savoring the frequencies of beauty, such as the smile of a child, the singing of a bird or the embrace of another.
For most, it is a long journey and there is no better time to begin that journey than now.
In addition, it seems to me that you are refusing to absorb as much beauty as possible because you understand the reality of pain, and you are curling up inside of yourself. You must seek out other attributes of self. You are NOT weak. The evidence of that is that you survive today; the evidence is that you are greater than your past.
I feel this strongly in my heart that you should invest time and money in finding a good martial arts teacher, as it will benefit you more than any other modality at this time, and it will build your confidence tremendously.
You must reach inside of yourself and harness your will and allow yourself to see and accept that you are not weak.
